Sunday, March 15, 2009

Who am I?

Who am I?

I think I am a or was a strong girl who didnt used to care what people thought, but lately people and their opinons of me have been bringing me down, knocking me out with every punch
I am a christian who is strong in her beliefs but doesn't really have the knowledge to back it up. Someone who can spit some stuff but has nothing to back it up.

Honestly, a really insecure person looking for others to help her be secure.

I am a girl that has an amazing family who loves her, an amazing bf who puts up with way too much, and amazing friends who stick with me through all of my drama.

Someone who needs much guidance from God, someone who keeps slipping off the path, someone who doesnt't know her way.

Lost in this big scary world and doesn't know what to do. Scared and alone, searching for guidance. I wish I could just open my heart to God like I used to. I wish I knew when he was talking to me. I wish I could hear him loud and clear, but it seems I cant hear him at all.

It's sad, people dont understand how much they need God and depend on him until they are knocked on their knees begging him to help them up.

Well I'm that person, on my knees begging for Guidance. Begging for Salvation, Forgiveness and Love.

People who say that they don't care what other people think are liars. Sooner or later it will get to them. It will tear them down. People have recently questioned who I am, what I believe in and most of all my relationship.

It hurts so bad that the people close to me that I love dearly dont see what I see, that people think that I dont know what true love is.

I may not have had very good examples of couples truely in love, but I do know what it is! I know how it feels to be in love and truly love someone. I love steve with all my heart, I have never loved someone the way I love him. He makes me feel so loved, he makes me feel like the most important person on this planent. We were there for each other when we were at our lowest and we give each other a purpose.

"Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant," - 1 Corinthians 13:4

"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be." This is the perfect quote for steve and I because we have gone through many troubling things and it has caused us to break up. Both times we have gone back out, this past time we both tried very hard to forget about each other and act like we didnt care about each other. Well we soon came to find that it didnt work. We loved and cared about eachother too much to do that. Everything happens for a reason, never regret your past. I dont regret anything we have gone through and I feel like God keeps us together, we are meant to be together and I wish my family could see how much we love and care about each other.

He has opened my eyes to who I am and who I can be. I am now a strong, christian who cares what others think but wont let it get her down, a girl who doesnt try to please everyone but trys not to give herself a bad name.

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